What do you want to be when you grow up?
You can’t have a different life without change, Part 3
Defining the future you want
Protect the parts of your life that are working.
In the last post we explored a new way to look at planning. And you took a look at the positive aspects of your current life, things that brought you happiness or mattered to you.
Pull the list out and read it over before me move on.
If you skipped it go back and finish your homework.
Taking time to focus on those elements that are working for you now will help you start building the framework for where you go next.
I recently did this exercise myself, in fact I did it several times over a few months. I tried to start with what I wanted “to do” but, that was just too big. I also noticed I had only looked at career and not the rest of my life. So I backed and I took a hard look at the good days and what made them different. I talked to my partner John about what stood out to him, what had I bragged about? What stories had I been excited to share?
I pieced together the aspects of my current life that I wanted in the future. It wasn’t just possible careers, there were other changes I wanted to make along the way. I remembered hobbies and commitments I’d let slip away when life got busy and I wanted them back.
Is this the life you imagined?
When was the last time someone asked you what you wanted to be? Or who you hoped to become?
As adults we constantly pester grade schoolers with this question. As though an 8 year old should have a finite grasp on a topic most parents can’t answer themselves.
Do you remember your childhood dreams? What did you think being an adult would look like?
I planned to live in the woods or on a mountain with a dirt road to my cabin. And I’d be a vet or a wildlife something but, I’d save all the critters. And my yard would be full of goats and a dog.
Looking back at my dreams I still have a lot of the same motivations, the scenery looks different but, I can still relate to the passion and values of my younger version. I live a few miles outside the city but a smaller city than where I grew up, my neighborhood is full of old trees and big yards. No dirt road, as an adult I know I need access to the grocery store because I always forget something. My career is different but, I still save all the animals and have a house full of strays to prove it. Sadly the goats didn’t work out.
But along the way I also picked up baggage and expectations. Things that didn’t matter to me but felt important because other people valued them. And I lugged them around because it felt like I was suppose to care about them. Or even bigger, because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone.
What’s possible 10 years from now?
How long has it been since you’ve taken a step back and looked at the path you’re on? Actually really looked at where you’re going?
It scary as hell but, humor me…take a breath (or a few) and look forward 10 years from now. Picture the version of yourself, your life, that exists 10 years in the future.
Put yourself at the very start of your day in October 2036
Imagine waking up, where do you live?
What wakes you up first?
What do you see when you finally agree to open your eyes?
What next? How does your day start?
Take a few minutes and really imagine what could be possible.
What stands out to you?
What’s in your future that isn’t in your current life?
And what do you do today but, have you let go of in your future vision?
Don’t lose the vision, document it. Write it down or use a dictation app to write it as you talk through it, draw it, do whatever makes sense to you. But, make a record. Take it outside your brain and give it form, make it real.
Take time and really looked at what life could be if you focused on it. Spend time this week making the vision tangible, add to it, define the gray areas. We’re going to come back to it next week. This is a big question so we’re going to give it extra time and space.
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Jenn is an ICF Associate Certified Coach in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She works with individuals and teams using neuroscience-informed, solution-focused coaching. Her practice focuses on supporting clients to make real, sustainable changes and meet their full potential.
Learn more about Jenn here. Ready to talk? Book a free intro call here.